How To Handle Enquiries..........

European Call Centre handles enquiries this way!

British Rail...
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics...
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
A Knitwear Company in Woven...
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".
A man - making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box - told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room".
RAC (Royal Automobile Club) Motoring Services...
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
Computer Capers...
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' on my notepad"!
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?"
Welsh Directory Enquiries...
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".