Gagan Mein Thaal-Sikh arti with lyrics

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ਆਰਤੀ धनासरी महला १ आरती
Dhanaasaree, First Mehl, Aartee:
ਗਗਨ ਮੈ ਥਾਲੁ ਰਵਿ ਚੰਦੁ ਦੀਪਕ ਬਨੇ ਤਾਰਿਕਾ ਮੰਡਲ ਜਨਕ ਮੋਤੀ ॥
गगन मै थालु रवि चंदु दीपक बने तारिका मंडल जनक मोती ॥
In the bowl of the sky, the sun and moon are the lamps; the stars in the constellations are the pearls.
ਧੂਪੁ ਮਲਆਨਲੋ ਪਵਣੁ ਚਵਰੋ ਕਰੇ ਸਗਲ ਬਨਰਾਇ ਫੂਲੰਤ ਜੋਤੀ ॥੧॥
धूपु मलआनलो पवणु चवरो करे सगल बनराइ फूलंत जोती ॥१॥
The fragrance of sandalwood is the incense, the wind is the fan, and all the vegetation are flowers in offering to You, O Luminous Lord.
ਕੈਸੀ ਆਰਤੀ ਹੋਇ ਭਵ ਖੰਡਨਾ ਤੇਰੀ ਆਰਤੀ ॥
कैसी आरती होइ भव खंडना तेरी आरती ॥
What a beautiful lamp-lit worship service this is! O Destroyer of fear, this is Your Aartee, Your worship service.
ਅਨਹਤਾ ਸਬਦ ਵਾਜੰਤ ਭੇਰੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
अनहता सबद वाजंत भेरी ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
The sound current of the Shabad is the sounding of the temple drums.
ਸਹਸ ਤਵ ਨੈਨ ਨਨ ਨੈਨ ਹੈ ਤੋਹਿ ਕਉ ਸਹਸ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਨਨਾ ਏਕ ਤੋਹੀ ॥
सहस तव नैन नन नैन है तोहि कउ सहस मूरति नना एक तोही ॥
Thousands are Your eyes, and yet You have no eyes. Thousands are Your forms, and yet You have not even one form.
ਸਹਸ ਪਦ ਬਿਮਲ ਨਨ ਏਕ ਪਦ ਗੰਧ ਬਿਨੁ ਸਹਸ ਤਵ ਗੰਧ ਇਵ ਚਲਤ ਮੋਹੀ ॥੨॥
सहस पद बिमल नन एक पद गंध बिनु सहस तव गंध इव चलत मोही ॥२॥
Thousands are Your lotus feet, and yet You have no feet. Without a nose, thousands are Your noses. I am enchanted with Your play!
ਸਭ ਮਹਿ ਜੋਤਿ ਜੋਤਿ ਹੈ ਸੋਇ ॥
सभ महि जोति जोति है सोइ ॥
The Divine Light is within everyone; You are that Light.
ਤਿਸ ਕੈ ਚਾਨਣਿ ਸਭ ਮਹਿ ਚਾਨਣੁ ਹੋਇ ॥
तिस कै चानणि सभ महि चानणु होइ ॥
Yours is that Light which shines within everyone.
ਗੁਰ ਸਾਖੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਪਰਗਟੁ ਹੋਇ ॥
गुर साखी जोति परगटु होइ ॥
By the Guru's Teachings, this Divine Light is revealed.
ਜੋ ਤਿਸੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਸੁ ਆਰਤੀ ਹੋਇ ॥੩॥
जो तिसु भावै सु आरती होइ ॥३॥
That which pleases the Lord is the true worship service.
ਹਰਿ ਚਰਣ ਕਮਲ ਮਕਰੰਦ ਲੋਭਿਤ ਮਨੋ ਅਨਦਿਨੋ ਮੋਹਿ ਆਹੀ ਪਿਆਸਾ ॥
हरि चरण कमल मकरंद लोभित मनो अनदिनो मोहि आही पिआसा ॥
My soul is enticed by the honey-sweet lotus feet of the Lord; night and day, I thirst for them.
ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਜਲੁ ਦੇਹਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਰਿੰਗ ਕਉ ਹੋਇ ਜਾ ਤੇ ਤੇਰੈ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਾਸਾ ॥੪॥੧॥੭॥੯॥
क्रिपा जलु देहि नानक सारिंग कउ होइ जा ते तेरै नामि वासा ॥४॥१॥७॥९॥
Bless Nanak, the thirsty song-bird, with the water of Your Mercy, that he may come to dwell in Your Name.
ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਆਰਤੀ ਮਜਨੁ ਮੁਰਾਰੇ ॥ 694
नामु तेरो आरती मजनु मुरारे ॥
Your Name, Lord, is my adoration and cleansing bath.
ਹਰਿ ਕੇ ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨੁ ਝੂਠੇ ਸਗਲ ਪਾਸਾਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
हरि के नाम बिनु झूठे सगल पासारे ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Without the Name of the Lord, all ostentatious displays are useless.
ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਆਸਨੋ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਉਰਸਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਕੇਸਰੋ ਲੇ ਛਿਟਕਾਰੇ ॥
नामु तेरो आसनो नामु तेरो उरसा नामु तेरा केसरो ले छिटकारे ॥
Your Name is my prayer mat, and Your Name is the stone to grind the sandalwood. Your Name is the saffron which I take and sprinkle in offering to You.
ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਅੰਭੁਲਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਚੰਦਨੋ ਘਸਿ ਜਪੇ ਨਾਮੁ ਲੇ ਤੁਝਹਿ ਕਉ ਚਾਰੇ ॥੧॥
नामु तेरा अम्भुला नामु तेरो चंदनो घसि जपे नामु ले तुझहि कउ चारे ॥१॥
Your Name is the water, and Your Name is the sandalwood. The chanting of Your Name is the grinding of the sandalwood. I take it and offer all this to You.
ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਦੀਵਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਬਾਤੀ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਤੇਲੁ ਲੇ ਮਾਹਿ ਪਸਾਰੇ ॥
नामु तेरा दीवा नामु तेरो बाती नामु तेरो तेलु ले माहि पसारे ॥
Your Name is the lamp, and Your Name is the wick. Your Name is the oil I pour into it.
ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ ਭਇਓ ਉਜਿਆਰੋ ਭਵਨ ਸਗਲਾਰੇ ॥੨॥
नाम तेरे की जोति लगाई भइओ उजिआरो भवन सगलारे ॥२॥
Your Name is the light applied to this lamp, which enlightens and illuminates the entire world.
ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਤਾਗਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਫੂਲ ਮਾਲਾ ਭਾਰ ਅਠਾਰਹ ਸਗਲ ਜੂਠਾਰੇ ॥
नामु तेरो तागा नामु फूल माला भार अठारह सगल जूठारे ॥
Your Name is the thread, and Your Name is the garland of flowers. The eighteen loads of vegetation are all too impure to offer to You.
ਤੇਰੋ ਕੀਆ ਤੁਝਹਿ ਕਿਆ ਅਰਪਉ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਤੁਹੀ ਚਵਰ ਢੋਲਾਰੇ ॥੩॥
तेरो कीआ तुझहि किआ अरपउ नामु तेरा तुही चवर ढोलारे ॥३॥
Why should I offer to You, that which You Yourself created? Your Name is the fan, which I wave over You.
ਦਸ ਅਠਾ ਅਠਸਠੇ ਚਾਰੇ ਖਾਣੀ ਇਹੈ ਵਰਤਣਿ ਹੈ ਸਗਲ ਸੰਸਾਰੇ ॥
दस अठा अठसठे चारे खाणी इहै वरतणि है सगल संसारे ॥
The whole world is engrossed in the eighteen Puraanas, the sixty-eight sacred shrines of pilgrimage, and the four sources of creation.
ਕਹੈ ਰਵਿਦਾਸੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਤੇਰੋ ਆਰਤੀ ਸਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਹੈ ਹਰਿ ਭੋਗ ਤੁਹਾਰੇ ॥੪॥੩॥
कहै रविदासु नामु तेरो आरती सति नामु है हरि भोग तुहारे ॥४॥३॥
Says Ravi Daas, Your Name is my Aartee, my lamp-lit worship-service. The True Name, Sat Naam, is the food which I offer to You.
ਧੂਪ ਦੀਪ ਘ੍ਰਿਤ ਸਾਜਿ ਆਰਤੀ ॥
धूप दीप घ्रित साजि आरती ॥
With incense, lamps and ghee, I offer this lamp-lit worship service.
ਵਾਰਨੇ ਜਾਉ ਕਮਲਾ ਪਤੀ ॥੧॥
वारने जाउ कमला पती ॥१॥
I am a sacrifice to the Lord of Lakshmi.
ਮੰਗਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਮੰਗਲਾ ॥
मंगला हरि मंगला ॥
Hail to You, Lord, hail to You!
ਨਿਤ ਮੰਗਲੁ ਰਾਜਾ ਰਾਮ ਰਾਇ ਕੋ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
नित मंगलु राजा राम राइ को ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Again and again, hail to You, Lord King, Ruler of all!
ਊਤਮੁ ਦੀਅਰਾ ਨਿਰਮਲ ਬਾਤੀ ॥
ऊतमु दीअरा निरमल बाती ॥
Sublime is the lamp, and pure is the wick.
ਤੁਹੀ ਨਿਰੰਜਨੁ ਕਮਲਾ ਪਾਤੀ ॥੨॥
तुहीं निरंजनु कमला पाती ॥२॥
You are immaculate and pure, O Brilliant Lord of Wealth!
ਰਾਮਾ ਭਗਤਿ ਰਾਮਾਨੰਦੁ ਜਾਨੈ ॥
रामा भगति रामानंदु जानै ॥
 Raamaanand knows the devotional worship of the Lord.
ਪੂਰਨ ਪਰਮਾਨੰਦੁ ਬਖਾਨੈ ॥੩॥
पूरन परमानंदु बखानै ॥३॥
He says that the Lord is all-pervading, the embodiment of supreme joy.
ਮਦਨ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਭੈ ਤਾਰਿ ਗੋਬਿੰਦੇ ॥
मदन मूरति भै तारि गोबिंदे ॥
The Lord of the world, of wondrous form, has carried me across the terrifying world-ocean.
ਸੈਨੁ ਭਣੈ ਭਜੁ ਪਰਮਾਨੰਦੇ ॥੪॥੨॥
सैनु भणै भजु परमानंदे ॥४॥२॥
Says Sain, remember the Lord, the embodiment of supreme joy!
ਸੁੰਨ ਸੰਧਿਆ ਤੇਰੀ ਦੇਵ ਦੇਵਾਕਰ ਅਧਪਤਿ ਆਦਿ ਸਮਾਈ ॥
सुंन संधिआ तेरी देव देवाकर अधपति आदि समाई ॥
Hear my prayer, Lord; You are the Divine Light of the Divine, the Primal, All-pervading Master.
ਸਿਧ ਸਮਾਧਿ ਅੰਤੁ ਨਹੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਲਾਗਿ ਰਹੇ ਸਰਨਾਈ ॥੧॥
सिध समाधि अंतु नही पाइआ लागि रहे सरनाई ॥१॥
The Siddhas in Samaadhi have not found Your limits. They hold tight to the Protection of Your Sanctuary.
ਲੇਹੁ ਆਰਤੀ ਹੋ ਪੁਰਖ ਨਿਰੰਜਨ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪੂਜਹੁ ਭਾਈ ॥
लेहु आरती हो पुरख निरंजन सतिगुर पूजहु भाई ॥
Worship and adoration of the Pure, Primal Lord comes by worshipping the True Guru, O Siblings of Destiny.
ਠਾਢਾ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਨਿਗਮ ਬੀਚਾਰੈ ਅਲਖੁ ਨ ਲਖਿਆ ਜਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ठाढा ब्रहमा निगम बीचारै अलखु न लखिआ जाई ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Standing at His Door, Brahma studies the Vedas, but he cannot see the Unseen Lord.
ਤਤੁ ਤੇਲੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਕੀਆ ਬਾਤੀ ਦੀਪਕੁ ਦੇਹ ਉਜ੍ਯ੍ਯਾਰਾ ॥
ततु तेलु नामु कीआ बाती दीपकु देह उज्यारा ॥
With the oil of knowledge about the essence of reality, and the wick of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, this lamp illuminates my body.
ਜੋਤਿ ਲਾਇ ਜਗਦੀਸ ਜਗਾਇਆ ਬੂਝੈ ਬੂਝਨਹਾਰਾ ॥੨॥
जोति लाइ जगदीस जगाइआ बूझै बूझनहारा ॥२॥
I have applied the Light of the Lord of the Universe, and lit this lamp. God the Knower knows.
ਪੰਚੇ ਸਬਦ ਅਨਾਹਦ ਬਾਜੇ ਸੰਗੇ ਸਾਰਿੰਗਪਾਨੀ ॥
पंचे सबद अनाहद बाजे संगे सारिंगपानी ॥
PancẖThe Unstruck Melody of the Panch Shabad, the Five Primal Sounds, vibrates and resounds. I dwell with the Lord of the World.
ਕਬੀਰ ਦਾਸ ਤੇਰੀ ਆਰਤੀ ਕੀਨੀ ਨਿਰੰਕਾਰ ਨਿਰਬਾਨੀ ॥੩॥੫॥
कबीर दास तेरी आरती कीनी निरंकार निरबानी ॥३॥५॥
Kabeer, Your slave, performs this Aartee, this lamp-lit worship service for You, O Formless Lord of Nirvaanaa.
ਗੋਪਾਲ ਤੇਰਾ ਆਰਤਾ ॥
गोपाल तेरा आरता ॥
O Lord of the world, this is Your lamp-lit worship service.
ਜੋ ਜਨ ਤੁਮਰੀ ਭਗਤਿ ਕਰੰਤੇ ਤਿਨ ਕੇ ਕਾਜ ਸਵਾਰਤਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
जो जन तुमरी भगति करंते तिन के काज सवारता ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
You are the Arranger of the affairs of those humble beings who perform Your devotional worship service.
ਦਾਲਿ ਸੀਧਾ ਮਾਗਉ ਘੀਉ ॥
दालि सीधा मागउ घीउ ॥
Lentils, flour and ghee - these things, I beg of You.
ਹਮਰਾ ਖੁਸੀ ਕਰੈ ਨਿਤ ਜੀਉ ॥
हमरा खुसी करै नित जीउ ॥
My mind shall ever be pleased.
ਪਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੀਆ ਛਾਦਨੁ ਨੀਕਾ ॥
पन्हीआ छादनु नीका ॥
Shoes, fine clothes,
ਅਨਾਜੁ ਮਗਉ ਸਤ ਸੀ ਕਾ ॥੧॥
अनाजु मगउ सत सी का ॥१॥
and grain of seven kinds - I beg of You.
ਗਊ ਭੈਸ ਮਗਉ ਲਾਵੇਰੀ ॥
गऊ भैस मगउ लावेरी ॥
A milk cow, and a water buffalo, I beg of You,
ਇਕ ਤਾਜਨਿ ਤੁਰੀ ਚੰਗੇਰੀ ॥
इक ताजनि तुरी चंगेरी ॥
and a fine Turkestani horse.
ਘਰ ਕੀ ਗੀਹਨਿ ਚੰਗੀ ॥
घर की गीहनि चंगी ॥
A good wife to care for my home -
ਜਨੁ ਧੰਨਾ ਲੇਵੈ ਮੰਗੀ ॥੨॥੪॥
जनु धंना लेवै मंगी ॥२॥४॥
Your humble servant Dhanna begs for these things, Lord.
ਪਾਇ ਗਹੇ ਜਬ ਤੇ ਤੁਮਰੇ ਤਬ ਤੇ ਕੋਊ ਆਂਖ ਤਰੇ ਨਹੀ ਆਨਯੋ ॥
O God since I have fallen at your feet, I do not care for anybody else
ਰਾਮ ਰਹੀਮ ਪੁਰਾਨ ਕੁਰਾਨ ਅਨੇਕ ਕਹੈਂ ਮਤ ਏਕ ਨ ਮਾਨਯੋ ॥
I do not follow the religious ways,preached by various religions, believing in ram, mohammad, puran or quran
ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਸਾਸਤ੍ਰ ਬੇਸ ਸਬੈ ਬਹੁ ਭੇਦ ਕਹੈ ਹਮ ਏਕ ਨ ਜਾਨਯੋ ॥
The simritis, shastras and the vedas lay down different doctrines, but i do not recognise any of these.
ਸ੍ਰੀ ਅਸਪਾਨ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਤੁਮਰੀ ਕਰਿ ਮੈ ਨ ਕਹਯੋ ਸਭ ਤੋਹਿ ਬਖਾਨਯੋ ॥
ਦੋਹਿਰਾ ॥
O God (you have sword in your hand) I have written these (hymns) with your grace and kindness, all that has been said, is in fact spoken by you
ਸਗਲ ਦੁਆਰ ਕੋ ਛਾਡਿ ਕੈ ਗਹਿਓ ਤੁਹਾਰੋ ਦੁਆਰ ॥
I have abandoned all doors and I have come to your door my lord
ਬਾਂਹਿ ਗਹੈ ਕੀ ਲਾਜ ਅਸ ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਦਾਸ ਤੁਹਾਰ ॥
O God (gobind) kindly protect the honour and grasp my arm, I am your humble servant.

Aarti - Sikh Prayer -Background

Once actor Balraj Sahni asked the late Nobel Laureate Rabindra Nath Tagore, You have written the national anthem for India . Can you write an international anthem for the whole world?

It has already been written, not only international but for the entire universe, in the 16th century by Nanak, replied Tagore. He referred to the Sikh arti (ceremony of light). Gurudev Tagore was so enamoured of this arti that he personally translated it into Bengali.

Every evening in all Gurudwaras, after the recitation of Rehraas Sahib, we can hear a melodious rendition of the arti sung by the Raagis in Raga Dhanashri. This is a tremendously soothing experience, capable of taking us directly into the spiritual realms of devotion through music.

As Guru Arjan Dev has written on page 393 of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji - 'arti kirtan sada anand'. Singing Gods praises is His arti, bringing boundless bliss.

As legend has it, in 1508 Guru Nanak Dev visited the famous temple of Jagannath at Puri in Orrisa, which was very well known for its arti for Lord Krishna. In the evening, priests brought a platter full of many lighted lamps, flowers, incense and pearls and began the arti. Guru Nanak noticed that the priests were more interested in the rituals and elaborate arrangements rather than in their love for God. So he stepped outside the temple and burst into the following masterpiece. Guru Nanak Sahib spontaneously gave words to the wonderful arti which was being hummed by Nature before the invisible altar of God, the creator of this universe:

"Gagan mein thaal rav chand dipak bane, tarika mandal janak moti,

dhoop malyanlo pavan chavro kare saal banray phulant joti, kaisi arti

hoye bhav khandna teri arti"

(SSGSJ page 663)

MEANS:The sky is puja thaal (platter used for the artis), in which sun and moon are the diyas (lamps)/The stars in the constellations are the jewels/ The wind, laden with sandal-wood fragrance, is the celestial fans/All the flowering fields, forests are radiance! What wonderful worship this is, oh! Destroyer of fear, THIS is your arti!

However, the arti that is sung daily in the Gurudwaras is however only partly composed by Guru Nanak Dev Ji. The second stanza, from Naam tero arti majan muraare Hark e Naam bin jhoothey sagal pasaarey -

SGGSJ page 695

O Lord, Thy name to me is the arti and holy ablutions. Everything else is false, onward has been composed by Bhagat Ravi Das, who, incidentally, was a cobbler.

The third stanza, Dhoop deep ghrit saaji arti vaarne jaau kamalapati

May I be a sacrifice unto the Lord: that for me is the arti performed with lamps, ghee and incense (SGGSJ: 695) onwards, was composed by Sant Sain, a barber in the court of Raja Ram, King of Rewa.

The fourth stanza, from Sun sandha teri dev devaakar adhpat aad samaayi,

MEANS:Brothers! That is how the Immaculate Lords arti is made: Let Divine essence be the oil, the Lords Name the wick and the enlightened self, the lamp. By lighting this lamp we invoke the Lord (Sri Guru

Granth Sahib Ji: page 1350) onwards, was composed in the same vein by Sant Kabir, the Muslim Julaha (The Weaver).

Thereafter, from Gopal tera arta jo jan tumhri bhagat karante tin ke kaaj sanvaarta,

MEANS:O Gopala, accept your arti! You grant the wishes of those who worship you! (Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji: page 6 95) onwards, was composed by Bhagat Dhanna, a simple Jat farmer from Rajasthan.

The final part was composed by Guru Gobind Singh Ji, right from Ya te& maha mun devar ke tap mein sukh pave jag kare ik ved rarey. MEANS:The Lord is pleased by penance, prayers, rituals, recitation of scriptures, meditation music and dance of celestial beings and the melody of the arti. The cosmic worlds rejoice and chant the Divine Name onwards.

That the arti which we sing daily has been composed by two Gurus, a cobbler, a barber, a weaver and a farmer is yet more proof that Sikhism believes in the equality of all human being.

Awal Allah noor upaya/

Kudrat ke sab bandey/

Ek noor te sab jag upjaya/

Kaun bhale ko mande.

First of all, God created light; Mother Nature created all human beings equal; from that one Light the entire world came into being; so how do we differentiate that one is better than the other?

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, When 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and start to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous 'yes..'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - Family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life..
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So...
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups..
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Signpost put up by the Indian Army

India and Indians - Good Historical Information

Isn't it amazing?
ACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD …
Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta
Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm
Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.
Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia
Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli
Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika
Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political Corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India .
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India .
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. ......Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition. ........Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India . ......French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border. .......Hu Shih (former Chinese ambassador to USA )
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.
BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.
I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA .
Say proudly, I AM AN INDIAN.
You may forward this email to people of INDIA................

Give me your e-mail

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Some Company. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email".
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Some Company!"

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Horror in Lonavla

This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the old road.
The inevitable happens and when he reached the mountains his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainy. And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by. Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel !!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.
Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town.
He stumbles into a restaurant, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through.
There is dead silence in the restaurant when he stops talking ..... . . . .
-----------
------------
-------------
---------------
......and that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk in. Santa points and says "Look Banta - that's the idiot who got into our car when we were pushing it."

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH???

People wonder why the call centre guys are paid so much for just being on the phone. Take a look!1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
—————————————-
2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
————————————————–
3) Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
————————————————–
4) Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$  (pretend to smile)
————————————————–
5) Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ##### ***
————————————————–
6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ******_____####
————————————————–
7) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”
Tech support : ////—–+++
————————————————–
8) Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support : ??????
————————————————–
9) Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ?!%#$
————————————————–
10) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????
————————————————–
11) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support : “What does it say?”
Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support : @@@@@
————————————————–
12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
————————————————–
13) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”
Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support : “Well?”
Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support : *** —- ++++
————————————————–
14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The, tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.
————————————————-
Height Of it all (Too Good)
15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now
Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust : sure !!!!
CCO : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

Oh My God!

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH, MY GOD!”

Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”
A passenger in Coach said, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”

How true is it for you?

You Can Try It Out For Yourself How true is it for you?

The birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together like in the example until there is only one digit. The Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want it will just color your choice differently.

Example: March 20, 1950

3 + 20 + 1950 =1973 = 1+ 9 + 7 + 3 =20 = 2+ 0 = 2

2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.

You are the _____,

1 THE ORIGINATOR

1's are originals. Coming up with n! ew ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.

Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

2 THE PEACEMAKER

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally! shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoppie Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.

Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali,Jody Foster.

4 - THE CONSERVATIVE

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.

Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, TinaTurner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

5 - THE NONCONFORMIST

5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamil.

6 - THE ROMANTIC

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their emotions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.

Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn.

7 - THE INTELLECTUAL

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned

themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically

inclined and make great researchers uncovering infor! mation. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.

Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana.

8 - THE BIG SHOT

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grandiose plans and like to live the good life. They! are take charge people. They

view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to x-ud their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus

9 - THE PERFORMER

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making frie! nds and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.

Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Steinem, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN

A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.''
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?
You’ll love the answer…
The wife replied, “I did. They’re in your fishing box …..”

Become a lake

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.
“How does it taste?” the Master asked.
“Awful,” spat the apprentice.
The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake.
The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”
As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?”
“Good!” remarked the apprentice.
“Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master.
“No,” said the young man.
The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into!
So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things …..
Stop being a glass… Become a lake !!!

smuggling

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answers Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that! Get off the bike.”
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the
sand back to Juan, who crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every week for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his Corona and says, “Bicycles.”

Funny Florida Road Sign

98% or 2%?

At the end of this message, you are asked a question.
Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it.
Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
This is a fun "test"... AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a try, then e-mail it around (including back to me) and you'll see how many people you know fall into the same percentage as you. Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%. You'll understand what that means after you finish taking the test."
Now. just follow the instructions as quickly as possible. Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one. You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind.
You'll be surprised.
Start:
How much is:
15 + 6


3 + 56


89 + 2


12 + 53



75 + 26


25 + 52



63 + 32



I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over. Come on, one more!
123+5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!




Scroll further, to the bottom.







A bit more




You just thought about a red hammer, didn't you?



If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different if not abnormal, mind. 98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise. If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see. Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2% and send to everyone, including the person that sent it to you.

Classic Exercises On Lateral Thinking

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!" How can this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5.. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known

software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

6. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of 21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
*Solutions *

1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However, if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was traveling by ship. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on March 1st. The ship then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.

7. He recognized Adam and Eve as the only people without navels. Because they were not born of women, they had never had umbilical cords and therefore they never had navels. This one seems perfectly logical but it can sometimes spark fierce theological arguments.

8. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets, etc.). This puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate mothers. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

9.. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups--so the man no longer needed the water. The is a simple puzzle to

state but a difficult one to solve. It is a perfect example of a seemingly irrational and incongruous situation having a simple and complete explanation. Amazingly this classic puzzle seems to work in different cultures and languages.

10. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

11. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

12. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
13. The answer is Charcoal.

14.. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

15. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph...

Alternate Solutions

4. Because one of them did not necessarily celebrate their birthday on the day they were born, but celebrated later or earlier. Much simpler than having Mom giving birth while crossing the International Date Line and tossing in a Leap Year and the like. Needlessly complicated.

6. Because he was the one who put the poison in the punch. Of course he wouldn't drink any *after* he poisoned it. Who goes to the effort of making poison ice cubes, except Bond villains and those bad guys in the "Encyclopedia Brown" mystery stories we read in elementary school?

8. Because they were adopted. It's a coincidence they were born on the same exact day. OK, so Occam's Razor could be applied equally to both solutions...

Is That Mule For Sale?

Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake’s wife brought his lunch to him.
Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake’s old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.
At the wake, Jake’s minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, ‘Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?’
‘Well,’ Jake replied, ‘The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, ‘Is that mule for sale!?’

computer slaves

computer slaves

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The colourful friends

The colourfull friends

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Friends!

Friends are..

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Dreams of animals

Have you ever wondered what animals dream about when they are asleep?

“How can a student pass ??”

Remember those school days !!!
It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365 days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions – at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0

Heart and Warm Water

After reading this, you now know why TOTO does not drink cold water for the last 30 yrs after playing tennis.
A very good article which takes two minutes to read. I'm sending this to persons I care about...... I hope that you do too ......

This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about Heart Attacks. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It feels nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer . It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
French fries and Burgers are the biggest enemy of Heart health. A coke after that gives more power this demon. Avoid them for your Heart's Health.
Common Symptoms of Heart Attack
A serious note about heart attcks:- You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense Pain in the Jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

How To Handle Enquiries..........

European Call Centre handles enquiries this way!

British Rail...
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics...
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
A Knitwear Company in Woven...
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".
A man - making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box - told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room".
RAC (Royal Automobile Club) Motoring Services...
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
Computer Capers...
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' on my notepad"!
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?"
Welsh Directory Enquiries...
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".